Sisu and Resilience

Life is difficult for everyone. No one escapes suffering. Even the most blessed of humans will experience sickness, death, setbacks, and the inevitable decline into old age that leads to the final day of life.

But for some, life is much harder. I recently returned from the island of Kaua'i where one of psychology's most important longitudinal research studies happened. In 1955, all 698 children born on the island that year became part of the study. One-third of the children were born into adversity. Of those children, by adulthood, one-third of the high-risk children had adapted and became competent, caring, high-functioning adults.

In other words, they were resilient.

But why some and not others?

Protective factors arise both internally and externally. Internal factors include an easygoing temperament, problem-solving skills and self-efficacy. External factors include at least one stable relationship. Think about that. One stable relationship can mean the difference between a child who is living in hell becoming a functioning adult or falling through the cracks.

While resilience is an adaptive process that can get someone through dark years, there is a complementary psychological process that can help get someone through an acutely bad day. Finnish culture uses the word sisu to describe it. It's essentially the ability to find a deeper well of strength to propel oneself forward instead of giving up. It hasn't been studied as much as resilience, but it’s important enough that psychologists are beginning to try to understand it more.

Sisu is the ember that glows after the fire seems dead, the quiet strength that appears when every rational part of you wants to stop.

Psychologists debate whether it’s a trait or an emergent force -- like the burst of strength that lets a mother lift a car off her child. However, most Finns see sisu as something anyone can access -- it’s cultural and situational. It’s not something you have, it’s something you reach for.

Beware, sisu can breed damaging qualities that Finnish culture is very aware of. While no one has ever said that someone was too resilient, Finnish people know that sisu, when misapplied, can be destructive. We can call it dark sisu.

Dark sisu qualities include:

- Refusing to yield even when it would be wiser or safer.

- Continuing through hardship at the cost of health, relationships, or safety.

- Refusal to adapt or change course.

- Clinging to a failing plan because “quitting” feels dishonorable. 

- Expecting everyone else to show sisu and dismissing those who aren’t.

- Recklessness and mistaking courage for foolhardiness.

- Crossing ethical boundaries just to prove one’s fortitude.

When resilience and sisu work together, they form something powerful -- endurance with heart.

That’s what I try to live by.

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These reflections express my personal opinions on systemic issues in psychotherapy and technology, not on any specific organization or individual.